Feeling 'FOUND'

My hands go groping around the room
to feel myself again
so that i can use this 'rare' chance
to put myself together
feeling sense in all the madness
establishing 'my meaning' somehow
so that the five outward days
dont take me away too far
what if i lose it?
what if i lose myself?
i cringe and revert to comfort
"I may not even bother twice
coz what follows will have filled me
to the brim!"
so... i am a tumbler...black & blue
I fill myself with my self
and get drained out "systematically"
Oh the world!!! why couldnt it know iam too lazy..
to feel 'so found' time and again
and then lose it all for the thrill to crib...